What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
