Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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