All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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