Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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