im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize