yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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