I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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