just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
