Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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