I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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