jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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