I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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