And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize