I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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