whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
