Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
