Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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