Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
