He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
