he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize