Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
