so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
