You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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