I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
