Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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