A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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