I look better un-naked...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
