If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
