i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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