He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
do herpes really smell.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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