Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
