I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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