its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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