Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
