i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
