I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
