I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
