I will die if light touches me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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