i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
and she was petting her beer can
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
