Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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