I wanna bring you to show and tell
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
