Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
