That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
