What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
