well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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