ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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