yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
