Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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