She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
