What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
