I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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