I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
