In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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