I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
