My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
