6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
