it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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