Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
