I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
