there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Green mimosas i think yes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
