and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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