i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
