spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
