Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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