i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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